Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Softest Kids in the World

School's finally in session here in Chicagoland. I'm not sure what the state of affairs is in other areas around the nation, but it's a sad, ridiculous sight rolling by the endless parade of automobiles inching toward the front door of school. Why they don't say "Fuck it, Johnny. I'm gonna drop you off at the corner here and you walk the extra 300 feet", I'll never understand.

They have to cross a busy street? Why the hell are you wasting your hard earned coin on that expensive private school if your kids are such dipshits that they can't cross a damn street? Unless your kid has had a lobotomy, there's no reason you can't teach them to look both ways and wait for the walk signal.

Billy can't walk that far? If there's one thing I can't stand it's parents that enable their kids to be losers by falling for their perpetual complaints and whining. Here's an idea: Tell Billy to quit being such a pussy and harden the fuck up.

Chauncy might get kidnapped? You may as well head for the sewers and live like a bunch of home schooled CHUD's if you're that scared of the daily grind.

How about instilling a sense of responsibility and self reliance in your kids instead of lethargy and entitlement? Some individuality instead of robotic emulation. How about a bike instead of 9 months of chauffered rides to school? Fuckin' A.


GOB said...

Chauncy is the best rich kid name EVAR.

Ari said...

I believe american children will be so fuckin' fat they eventuallly will not even fit in suvs. Parents are going to have to buy dump trucks. They will load "Chumpcy" with the back-hoe and then "dump" them off at school. To all you little fuckers out there GET walking and riding your bikes to school. Otherwise you are not going to college but instead to Iraq.

solobreak said...

You made my fucking day. Thanks bro!

Anonymous said...

Excellent post - too funny and, sadly, too true.

The King said...

Well spoken from someone without kids. What the fuck do you know about getting kids to and from school or what concerns one may have about their safety. Why don't you stick to wrenchin bikes and leave the parenting to those who acctually have kids. How the hell do you know what it takes you blabbering prick.

Strangelife said...

King: I don't have a recumbent and I've got lots of opinions on those too. Same with wetsuits.

Lighten up, Francis.